I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
