Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
