Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
