I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
