his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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