Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
