I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
