Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
