I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
