You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
