But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
