he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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