I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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