Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
