Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
