you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
