Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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