GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
