Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
