I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She's the barista slut.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
