The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
