maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
