I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
