I wish I only lived at night.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
