It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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