So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
