That's intense
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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