Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
