hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
