I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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