well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sorry about my life...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
