I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So squirting runs in the family.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
