How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
are you so shy because you have an std?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
