she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
