He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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