What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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