There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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