That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
