Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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