If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
