Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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