We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize