Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm like, not good at living.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
