24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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