im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
