:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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