He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
