I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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