All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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