there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
