Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize