I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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