Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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