Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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