dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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