Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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