We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
