gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
