I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
