You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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