I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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